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There are multiple roads and i think that none of it are wrong. But each road have their own difficulties. I do not wish for an easy way (Kosaka Nao 13th August 2018)

こんにちは  // Hello



小坂菜緒です // It's me, Kosaka Nao










今日、8月13日 // Today, 13th August

2期生がけやき坂46に加入して1年が経ちました // is the first year anniversary of Hiragana Keyakizaka 2nd year debut





もう1年経つんだと思うと何だか時の流れが早いように感じます。 // Realizing that a year has already passed, i felt the speed of the flow of time.




この1年間、いろんなことがありすぎて頭が追いついて行かないくらい経験することがたくさんありました。 // In the past one year, so many things has happened i can't really wrap my head around it.



私は元々アイドルが好きで、AKB48さんや乃木坂さんを見てきました。 // I used to like idols, i watch AKB48 and Nogizaka.




ある日、友達に誘われて行ったひらがなけやきの全国ツアー // One day, a friend invited me to go watch Hiragana Keyaki National Tour

すごい衝撃を受けました。 // and i received a great shock.

アイドルのライブを観ること自体ほぼ初だった私にとって、あのキラキラした笑顔は印象的だったし、まだ好きになったちょっとしか経ってなかったから知らない曲ももちろんありつつ… // For me who watch an idol live performance for the first time, their bright smile left an impression, i just recently started liking them so of course there are songs that i did not know...

でも、何だか自然と笑顔にさせてくれる // But, somehow they are able to make me smile.

そのひらがなけやきの力に私は憧れるようになりました。 // I started to admire that power that Hiragana Keyaki have.




ちょうど新メンバー加入オーディションがあり、これは受けなきゃと思い衝動で応募した感じです。 // Just that time, a new member audition was opened, "I have to apply" and with that impulse i applied.

それから私の頭の中は毎日ひらがなけやきでいっぱいでした。 // Since then, every day my head was filled with Hiragana Keyaki.

オーディションもそんなに自信があった訳ではありません。周りの人の凄さに圧倒されて萎縮してしまってるほどの緊張感がとてもしんどかったのを覚えています。// I wasn't so confident during the audition. I remember being so overwhelmed by nervousness, seeing the greatness of the people around me.




合格したあの日、私は人生にもう経験しないだろうと思うほどの喜びを感じました。 // The day i was accepted, i was so happy i don't think i will ever experience the same level of happiness again in my life.

これから先、自分がどうなるか分からない。でも、そんな事なんか私には関係ありませんでした。 // I does not know what will happen to me from that moment. But, i do not care.

とにかく、ひらがなけやきになれて本当に嬉しかったんです! // I'm just really happy that i became a part of Hiragana Keyaki.




幸せです。 // So very happy.










それからたくさんのことがありました。 // And since then, many things has happened.










加入して4ヶ月 // 4 months since we entered

幕張の舞台で初お披露目 // We performed for the first time in Makuhari




この時は自分がどんな人なのか、よく分からない状態でのスタートでした。でも、ここで分かったんです。自分はこうやって人前に立つことが苦手だと思ってたけど、本当は好きなんじゃないかなと思った瞬間でした。何かが弾けた幕張の舞台でした。初めて見た景色、いろとりどりに染まった会場。一つ一つが新鮮で、初めて立つ舞台が幕張でスケールが大きすぎないかとか、色々思ったけど、なんだかんだ良かったと思っています。// That time, in the situation where i don't know what kind of person i am, i started this. But, i understood it here. I had thought that i am bad at doing this sort of things in front of so many people, but then i realized that i might be liking this. The moment something burst out was on the stage of Makuhari. The scenery that i saw for the first time, the venue dyed in various colors. Every thing feels fresh to me, i thought that Makuhari is too big for the first stage for me to stand on, i thought about various things, but somehow i feel glad.







それから1ヶ月後 // And then one month later.

武道館3Days // Budokan 3 days




こんなに早く武道館に立てると思ってなかったし、まだまだメンバーとして未熟者でした。// I never imagined that i could stand on Budokan this quick, as i was still inexperienced as a member.

この時に初めて乃木坂さんの曲を披露させてもらって、日替わりでセンターも経験しました。悔しい思いも残したままステージを降りてしまった感じが今でも悔しい。でも、ここでひらがなけやきの単独アルバム発売が発表され、やっとひらがなけやきの一員になれると思った瞬間でした。// This time, we performed Nogizaka-san's song for the first time, and the Center changed every day. I left the stage feeling regretful, even now i still feel regretful. But, this is the moment when Hiragana Keyaki album release was announced, and it was the moment where i thought that i am finally able to become a member of Hiragana Keyaki.







それから2週間後 // And 2 weeks after that,

2期生おもてなし会 // 2nd gen's omotenashikai




私の中で一番怖かったライブだったと今になって言える気がします。全曲任された時は正直、自信を失い泣きそうになりました。もう自分には出来ないと思い込んでステージに立ったことは誰にも言えないことでした。だから1番悔いが残ったし、メンバーにも申し訳ないと思っています。たまに映像を見返すんですけど、まだまだだなぁって思っちゃいます。// Even now, i still think that this is the scariest live performance for me. When we was told that they'll leave all the songs performance to us, i lose all confident and i feel like crying. As i thought "I can't do this", i went up the stage, it was something that i couldn't tell anyone. So it became something that i most regretted, and i feel sorry to the members. Sometimes i watched the video from that time again, and i would thought "I'm still lacking".

それでも全力を尽くした私たちは絶対に1mmでも成長出来たと思います。またリベンジしたい9人で。// Even so, i think that we who have worked hard by giving our all was able to grow even if it was only for 1mm. I want to take revenge, with all 9 of us.













その後… // After that...

半分の記憶でセンターを務めることになったり、舞台「あゆみ」があったり、冠番組「ひらがな推し」が始まり、アルバムが発売され、ツアーがスタート // I was chosen as the Center for Hanbun no Kioku, there was also the stage play "Ayumi", then the TV program "Hiragana Oshi" started, our album is released, and the tour started.







このアルバム期間や東名阪ツアーは、個人的に大きくなれた期間だったと思います。// Personally, i think that the album release and the Higashi Meihan (Tokyo, Nagoya, Osaka) tour was something big




今までライブをしてても1期さんのライブに参加させてもらってるという感じがずっとあって、曲数も少ないししょうがないけど…と思ってました。// In the live performances we participated in until that time, i always felt that we are only participating in 1st gen's performance and we have small number of song to perform in but there's nothing that we can do....

でも、この東名阪ツアーは1から1期さんと一緒に作ったもので、ここでやっとひらがなけやきになれたと思いました。// But this Higashi Meihan tour was something that we created together with 1st gen, and here i thought that i am finally able to become a member of Hiragana Keyaki.

初めから最後まで出ることができて本当に嬉しかったし、いい思い出にもなりました。// I was really happy that we could participate from the beginning to the end, i thought that it had become a wonderful memory to me.




色々あった期間だったけど、それが自分を大きく成長させてくれたんだと思います // Various kind of things happened that time, but i think that it was the one that allowed to me to grow bigger.







メンバーを思う気持ち、一緒に楽しむこと、失敗を恐れずステージに立つこと // The feeling of worrying about the members, the feeling of enjoying the moment together, the feeling to stand on stage without the fear of failure....




もっとたくさんの事を学びました // I have learned many things.




特に2期生には迷惑かけちゃったかもしれないけど、昔よりもずーっと大好きになったよ // I may have been causing nothing but problem to the other 2nd gen, but compared to before i have grow to love everyone even more.







またツアーやりたいなぁ( ¨̮ ) // I want to do another tour













その他にもたくさんの雑誌に読んでいただいたり、ランウェイを歩いたり、seventeenの専属モデルになったり // Since then i was called by various magazines, i have walked the runway, and became the exclusive model for Seventeen







思い出せば思い出すほどたくさんあります。// If i try to remember, there are so many things that come to mind.




書ききれないくらい。// So much i don't think i could write down all of it.













本当にありがたいことです。// I am truly thankful.










皆さんが応援してくれるから私は頑張っていけます! // Because you cheered for me, i can do my best!







この1年間は大事な1年間だったと思います( ¨̮ ) // I think that this year has become an important year for me.







これからもずっとひらがなけやきとして頑張っていきます! // From now on, i'd like to continue to work hard as Hiragana Keyaki!







もうすぐしたら新しい子も入ってきます // New members are coming in soon

すごく楽しみですが、ちょっと怖さもあります。// I look forward to meeting them, but i also feel a little fear.

でも、いい子達が入ってくると私は思ってます♪ // But i think that the ones entering will be good people.











いい先輩になれるのかな…// I wonder if i can be a good senior...


















まだまだ未熟者で、だめだめな私ですが // I am still inexperienced, and lacking

ずっとそばで応援してくれたら嬉しいです。// I'd be happy if you could stay by my side and cheer for me.










皆さん本当にいつもありがとう! // Everyone, thank you as always!
























2期生大好きだよ // I love 2nd gens
















長々とすみません // I'm sorry if it's long







読んでいただきありがとうございました // Thank you for reading








小坂菜緒^._.^  // Kosaka Nao










#49







誰よりも高く跳べますように… // I hope that we may be able to jump higher than anyone...

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