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Thank you, I love you (Takamoto Ayaka 1st October 2017)

Translated QC ft Varianth


--

こんにちは // Hello

高本彩花です // Takamoto Ayaka here

ねるちゃんのこと // Even though I’ve thought about it over and over again
ずっとずっと書こうと思っているのに // it’s not really easy
なかなか書けなくて // to write about Neruchan,
自分の気持ちを言葉に表現出来なくて // to put my feelings into words
こんなに時間がかかってしまって // And it took me so much time
本当にすみません // I’m sorry


先日のけやかけで選抜発表が行われて // At the senbatsu announcement on keyakake the other day
その時、ねるちゃんが漢字さん専任になることが // It was decided that Neru would become
決まりました // a full time Kanji member.


選抜発表が行われた日に私たちにもその事実を知らされました // In fact, we only found out about it on the same day that the senbatsu was announced.


聞いた時、頭が真っ白になりました // When i heard it, my mind went blank.


ねるちゃんのいないひらがなけやきなんて // Hiragana Keyaki without Neru-chan
ひらがなけやきじゃないし // is not Hiragana Keyaki

ねるちゃんがいて私たちがいる訳だから // We exist because of Neru-chan.
これからの私たちは要らないんじゃないか // Does this mean they don’t need us anymore?

こんなの嘘だよ、絶対冗談 // I thought,
ドッキリなんでしょ // “This must be a lie, a joke”
って思ってました // “This must be nothing but a prank”







でもみんな真剣でした // But everyone was serious






暫くは何も考えられなくて // For a while, I couldn’t think of anything
何も考えたくもないし // I didn’t want to think of anything
ただただ心に穴が空いたような気持ちでした // I felt like there was a hole in my heart







札幌のリハがはじまったくらいに // When the rehearsal in Sapporo began
ねるちゃんがいない現実を実感しました // The reality that Neru-chan wasn’t going to be there sunk in.


ひらがなけやき、誰よりも高く跳べ!、僕たちは付き合っている、永遠の白線 // Hiragana Keyaki, Dare yori mo takaku tobe!, Bokutachi wa tsukiatteiru, Eien no Hakusen

ねるちゃんも歌唱メンバーですが // Neru-chan is one of the members who sings it
札幌のライブには来れなくて // But she is not coming to Sapporo live
ねるちゃんの場所をどうするか // What should we do with Neru-chan’s spot?

その事を考えなきゃいけなかったんです // We had to think about that
本当に辛かったです // It was honestly tough.

私はまだねるちゃんがいなくなってしまうことを受け入れられてなかったから… // Because i still can’t accept the fact that Neru-chan is no longer here...




札幌のライブの前日にねるちゃんがリハーサルにわざわざ来てくれてお話しました // Neru-chan came all the way to visit the rehearsal a day before the live in Sapporo
久しぶりのひらがなけやきの12人集合涙が止まりませんでした // Tears wouldn’t stop flowing because of the reunion of the 12 Hiragana Keyaki after a long absence

ねるちゃんは私たちにずっとごめんねって言いました // Neru-chan kept apologizing to us


ねるちゃんは悪くないのに // Even though she did nothing wrong
ねるちゃんは私たちの何倍も忙しいのに // Even though compared to us she’s a hundred times busier
頼りすぎてしまいました // We relied on her too much


ねるちゃんがいないとダメだし // Without Neru-chan we couldn’t do it
ねるちゃんがいるから私たちがいる // Because of Neru-chan, we are here


そうやってこれまでずっと頼り続けてしまいました // Because of that, we have been relying on her all this time




こっちのがごめんねだよ // We should be the one’s to apologize.


漢字さんと兼任で // The concurrent position with Kanji-san
本当に大変だったと思います // must be very hard


そんなねるちゃんを支えたかった。// I want to support Neru-chan

見守ることしか出来なかった自分が情けないです。// The me who cannot help is pathetic




ねるちゃんは強いです// Neru-chan is strong


ねるちゃんって強いなって私が思ったのは // The moment that i thought that Neru-chan was strong
3月にZeppTokyoで行ったライブの時です // was during the Zepp Tokyo performance back in March


その時ねるちゃんはドラマ撮影で忙しくて // At the time Neru-chan was also busy with drama shooting
リハーサルにほとんど参加出来ないまま本番を迎えてしまいました // She was barely able to participate in rehearsal up until the day of the performance
それでもねるちゃんはやり遂げました // But Neru-chan was still able to carry through



あんなに忙しい中、文句も言わず、完璧にアイドルとしてやり遂げたねるちゃんは本当にすごいと思います // Even though she was that busy, without complaining, i thought that Neru-chan, who’s able to carry through like a perfect idol, was amazing

私だったら逃げ出すくらいねるちゃんは忙しすぎたし // If I were as busy as Neru, I’d probably run away.
精神的にも体力的にも本当に辛かったと思います // It must’ve have been very hard for her, both physically and mentally


この夏のツアーでもねるちゃんの偉大さに本当に驚かされるばかりでした // Even on this summer tour, i am always surprised by how great Neru-chan was


漢字さんの曲の振り入れもあって // She practiced the dance for Kanji-san songs
ひらがなの振り入れもあって // She also practiced the dance for Hiragana songs
ほとんど永遠の白線の振り入れには参加出来なくて // She could hardly participate in Eien no Hakusen dance practice
それでも本番は完璧に仕上げてきていて // But during the real performance she was able to do it perfectly

ねるちゃんはいつもそうです // Neru-chan is always like that

どんなに忙しくても、絶対にやり遂げる //No matter how busy she gets, she’s always able to accomplish what she puts her mind to





ねるちゃんは、同い年なのに考え方とか、行動とか全てが私なんかよりも大人です // As someone who’s the same age as Neru-chan, the way she behaves, just everything about her, she’s just so much more mature than I am.

兼任じゃなくなるけど頑張るしかないよって // “I’m no longer a concurrent member but there is no other choice but to work hard” she said
永遠の別れじゃないし、グループは一緒だからって // “It’s not like we’ll be apart forever, we are still in the same group” she said

ねるちゃんに言われて今までずっと受け入れられなかった気持ちが変わりました // Neru-chan changed my feelings where I couldn’t accept what had just happened.

今まで、ねるちゃんがいて私たちがいて // Until now, we did nothing but
ねるちゃんの背中についていってました // following Neru-chan’s back

でもこれからは私たちが2期生の為にも // But from now on, for the 2nd gens too
道を作らなきゃいけない // we must make our must make our own path.


ネガティブに考えやすい私ですが // The Ayaka that only things negative thoughts
これからは強い意志を持ってポジティブに生きてかないと // must have a strong will and from now on,
やってけないです// be more positive.




ねるちゃんは漢字さんに専任になったけど // Neru-chan has become a full Kanji but
ひらがなけやきはねるちゃんがいてくれたから // It doesn’t change the fact that
だから私たちがいるってことは // Hiragana Keyaki exists because Neru-chan
いつまでも変わりません // That is the reason why we’re here.


12人が大好きです // I love the twelve of us

これからも、ずっと大好きです // I will always love the idea of the 12 of us forever.




初めての11人で迎えたZeppSapporoでのライブ // The first live with the eleven of us was in Zepp Sapporo
正直ねるちゃんに来て欲しかったし // The truth is i wanted Neru-chan to come too
だって1番ラム肉が食べたいって言っていたのもねるちゃんだし // Because the one who said she wanted to eat lamb meat the most was Neru-chan
皆さんもねるちゃんがいて欲しかったと思います // And i thought that the audience also wanted to see Neru-chan




ねるちゃんがいないっていう大きな不安と// I was extremely anxious about Neru-chan not being there with us,
リハの時間が今までにない少なさで // that and the fact that this was the shortest amount of practice we’d ever had,
不安と恐怖でいっぱいのまま札幌に行きました // I went to Sapporo filled with anxiety and fear
ライブでこんなにも不安でいっぱいだったのは初めてでした // That was probably the first live where i filled such anxiety



その時、皆さんの声援に救われました // At the time, i was saved by your support


中にはやっぱりねるちゃんのタオルやうちわなど // There were fans who came
持ってきてくださっている方もいました // with Neru-chan towels or uchiwa


ねるちゃんがいないから // Because Neru-chan wasn’t
みんな冷たいんじゃないか、楽しんでもらえないんじゃないかそんなふうに思ってました// I thought that you would be cold to us, that you wouldn’t enjoy it.

でもそんな不安すぐにどっか行きました // But that uneasiness quickly disappeared.

11人だけど、皆さんがすごく盛り上がってくださって// There was only 11 of us, but everyone was excited
終わったあとお見送りの時、良かったよって // When we are said our goodbyes, you told us that it was great.
素晴らしいグループだねって言ってくれました // That we are a wonderful group


皆さんからの言葉に自信がつきました // I gained confidence by hearing those words

その後も皆さんのメッセージなどから // And from your messages,
すごく勇気とか、元気をもらえて // I become courageous, i become energetic
皆さんに助けられました // I was saved by everyone


これからの私達が認められた気がして // In order to make more people recognize us
一歩踏み出す恐怖が消えました // The fear of taking a step forward has disappeared


ZeppSapporoでのライブが終わって // After the end of Zepp Sapporo
やっぱり12人が大好きだし // As i expected, i really love the 12 of us
12人の絆は永遠だなって今まで以上に感じました // I felt it more than before that the bond between the 12 of us is eternal





ひらがなけやき、誰よりも高く跳べ!、僕たちは付き合っている、永遠の白線 // Hiragana Keyaki, Dare yori mo takaku tobe!, Bokutachi wa tsukiatteiru, Eien no Hakusen

この4曲は12人の宝物です // These four songs are treasure for the 12 of us



いつかまた絶対に12人で披露したいです // My wish is that someday

私の願いです // the twelve of us will be able to perform together again





そんな気持ちもありつつ // With these feelings,
これから先に進むためには // to proceed even further
ねるちゃんへの恩返しの気持ちも込めて // Also with the feelings of wanting to give back to Neru-chan
もっともっとハッピーオーラで溢れて // We will work our hardest
たくさんの方に愛されるグループになれるよう // to show an even more happier aura
努力し続けて行きたいと思います // so we can be a group that is loved by many people


いつまでも落ち込んでちゃいけません // I can’t feel down forever.


新たなひらがなけやきは // A new Hiragana Keyaki
2期生も加わって総勢20人となり // with the 2nd gen joining in total we will have 20 members
これからも坂を登り続けます // And from here, we’ll continue  to climb the slope


これからも応援していただけると嬉しいです // Please continue to support us from now on



すみません長くて、しかもまとまりが無くて // I’m sorry that it was so long,
本当にごめんなさい // and that it looks like it’s all over the place
ここまで読んでくださってありがとうございます// Thank you for reading so far






私の言いたいことは伝わっているのでしょうか // I wonder if what I said conveyed my feelings?


もっと文章力高めて、もっと早くブログ書けるようにします // I will try to improve my writing skills so i can write blogs faster


お待たせした割に、伝わらないブログだったらすみません // I’m sorry if the content of this blog that you’ve been waiting for is hard to understand



とにかく、大好きで大切で欠けてはならないと思ってた存在のねるちゃんが突然いなくなってしまうのは // At any rate, the Neruchan, that I love, that’s very existence is important, is disappearing suddenly,
これから先不安もあるけれど // I’d be lying if I said I was okay with this.
これまで活動してきたことは絶対に忘れないし、ねるちゃんという存在があって今の私たちがあるということを忘れずに // Without forgetting what has happened so far, without forgetting that because of Neru-chan we are here now
謙虚に何事にも全力で取り組んでいきたいと思います // We will humbly work our best and strive to do our best with all our might




ねるちゃん。本当にありがとう // Neru-chan. Honestly, thank you


ねるちゃんには感謝の気持ちとごめんねの気持ちでいっぱいです // To Neru-chan, my feelings of gratitude and feeling of sorriness is boundless


特に、初めてあった時気持ち悪いくらい泣いたのは // Especially when we meet for the first time, i truly regret about not feeling well and crying
本当に申し訳なさでいっぱいです // I am truly sorry

あと、2ndシングルの幕張での全握でペアになった時 // And when we are paired for the national handshake in Makuhari for 2nd single
不安で不安で仕方なかったけど // I felt really nervous and helpless but
ねるのファンの皆さんはみんな優しいから大丈夫だよ〜って言ってくれたり // Neru-chan fans were very kind, and they kept saying “It’s okay~”
私が泣いて何度も止めてしまったり // I ended up crying and made the line stop many times
そんなことをしても笑って一緒に待ってくれました // Even thought i did that, you laughed and waited together with me.
ありがとう、そしてごめんね // Thank you, and sorry



私もねるちゃんのような優しさと温かさで溢れた人間になれるよう頑張ります // I will do my best to become a person that is filled with kindness and warmth like Neru-chan



すごいお別れみたいになっちゃったけど、、// It feels like we’re going to be apart but,

ねるちゃんが言った通り、永遠の別れなわけじゃいです // As Neru has said, it’s not like we are going to apart forever

しかも、いつだって会えるし、 同じグループだから( ˶ ̇ ̵ ̇˶ ) // And we can still meet each other, because we are in the same group

まお、さりなちゃん、めみ、ゆうか、としちゃん、きょうこ、くみ、みれい、まなふぃ、ねるちゃん、めいめい // Mao, Sarina-chan, Memi, Yuuka, Toshi-chan, Kyoko, Kumi, Mirei, Manafi, Neru-chan, Meimei

みんな大好きです // I love everyone




ねるちゃん本当にありがとう // Neru-chan, thank you very much

こんな素敵なメンバーに出会わせてくれたのもねるちゃんのお陰です // It’s thanks to you Neru-chan that i was able to meet all these wonderful members

こんな素敵なメンバーだから、これから先何があっても乗り越えて行ける気がします // With all these wonderful members, i feel like i can overcome whatever may happens in the future



お互い、一緒に頑張ろう! // Let’s do our best together!


そして、みんなでご飯に行くぞ〜〜 // And let’s go have a meal with everyone!


ラム肉食べに札幌行こうね\ ♪♪ / // Let’s go to Sapporo and eat some lamb meat!

最後まで見てくださってありがとうございます // Thank you for reading until the end

高本彩花 // Takamoto Ayaka

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