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Thank You and Sorry and I Love You (Kageyama Yuuka blog 1st June 2018)

期待していない自分のMV見てくださりましたか? // Everyone have you seen Kitai shite inai jibun MV?


私がどうしても見て欲しいところは、// The place that i want you to see no matter what is,


私がボレーシュートをうっているところなのですが、// Where i did the volley shot


実は、無回転ボールなんです。// But the ball actually wasn't spinning.



え?ほんとに〜?? // "Eh? Really~?"


って思った人は、はい、今すぐ確かめてください♡♡♡笑 // For those who think like so, yep, so please check it right away


こんちゃ! // 'Sup!
影山優佳です。// Kageyama Yuuka here


いつもけやき坂46を、影山優佳を応援して下さりありがとうございます。// Thank you for always supporting Hiragana Keyakizaka46 and Kageyama Yuuka


皆さまにご報告があります。// I have something to report to everyone.



この度、けやき坂461stアルバムリリースをもちまして学業専念のため一時活動休止させていただくことになりました。// It has been decided that i will temporarily suspend my activities for Hiragana Keyakizaka46 1st album release to focus in my academic activities.



突然のご報告になってしまい申し訳ございません。// I'm sorry if this is so sudden.

1stアルバムリリースに伴うキャンペーン活動、ならびに発売記念のツアーでの私の活動を楽しみに待っていてくださったみなさん、期待を楽しみを希望を、全てを裏切る形になってしまい本当にごめんなさい。// Everyone who has been looking forward to the 1st album promotion, and my activities in the tour, your hope of having fun, i am really sorry for betraying those.


活動休止の発表をさせていただく直前の直前まで、これからどうするのかなかなか自分の中で決断できずにいました。// Just really really shortly before the announcement, i am unable to make the decision of what to do.

この決断を下すまで私の中でたくさんの葛藤があり、自分の中で何度も気持ちが揺れ動いたからです。// There is a lot of conflicts within me before i come to this decision, so many emotions keeps changing within me.



「私が今1番やりたいことはなんなのか。」// "What do i want to do the most right now?"

「私はここで勉強だけに舵を切っていいのか。」// "Should i devote my self to study from here on?"

「小さい頃から夢見ていたアイドルをここで切り捨ててしまっていいのか。
」// "Should i cut off my childhood dream of being an idol here?"


「これまでメンバーやスタッフさんはじめたくさんの方にいつも迷惑をお掛けしてしまいながら何とか必死にがむしゃらに頑張ってきたのに、ここでスパッと辞めてしまうことが正解なのか。」// "Is it the correct decision to quit here, after recklessly trying hard and keeps bothering a lot of people, including members and staff?"









メンバーは、辞めないでほしい。信じられない。と言ってくれました。// Members told me, "I don't want you to stop" "I can't believe this"

そう言われた時、申し訳ない気持ちになった反面、必要とされていることを知り素直に嬉しかったです。// When i told them, while feeling sorry, i also feel happy knowing that i'm needed.

大好きで大好きで大好きで言葉に表せないくらい大切なメンバーに、離れたくないと言われ、私はさらにまた悩みこんでしまいました。// Being told by the members whom i really really really love to the point where i can't put it well to words, that they doesn't want me to go, once more makes me troubled.


やっぱり、みんなといる時間は楽しい。幸せ。私だって、離れたくない。ずっと一緒にいられたら、どんなに笑顔溢れる充実した毎日を送れるんだろうか。// As i knew, the moment i spent with everyone are fun. It's really happy. I too, doesn't want to go. If they are always with me, i wonder how many fulfilling days full of smile will i receive?






今なら、踏みとどまれる? // Now, do you still want to give up?









私は、ひらがなけやきが大好きだからこそ、今すぐに身を引きたいと思いました。// Because i love Hiragana Keyaki, i thought that i want it off immediately.

念願の1stアルバムをリリースし、冠番組を持たせていただき、波に乗り続けているひらがなけやき。// Hiragana Keyaki who are continue to ride the momentum, getting the 1st album and our own program that we have long wished.
これからひらがなけやきは超人気グループになります。グループだけじゃなくてメンバー一人一人にスポットライトが当たるようになります。// Hiragana Keyaki will be a very popular group from now on. Spotlight will be given to each member, and not just the group.

これは私の勘に過ぎませんが、そうだと信じています。// This is just my intuition, but i believe in it.



だって、ひらがなけやきには高いポテンシャルと優しくあたたかい心を持ったメンバーが揃っているんですもの。// Because Hiragana Keyaki have a lot of members with huge potential, and everyone have a warm (kind) heart.


こんなに、一緒にいるだけで笑顔になれる人たちに私は今まで出会ったことがありません。// I have never met people who can make me smile by just being with them until now.




ひらがなけやきに惹かれていない方は、それは、言い過ぎかもしれないけどまだひらがなの潜在的な魅力に気づいていないだけだと思います。// The people who have yet to be interested in Hiragana Keyaki, maybe this is just an overstatement from me but, i think that those people just hasn't noticed Hiragana's potential yet.

ひらがなけやきには魅力的な要素が無限大に詰まっています。ぎゅうぎゅうです。// Hiragana Keyaki is packed with an infinite number of charm. It's super jammed.





だからこそ、みんなのスタートダッシュの邪魔をしたくない。// That's why i don't want to disturb everyone's start dash.

ここで身を引けば、まだ間に合うと思いました。// I thought if i retire here, i could still make it.

この早い時期に活動を休止することを決めたのはそれが大きな理由です。// That is a big reason why i decided to pause my activity this early.









これは自分で自分の意志で決めたことです。// This is something that i decided on my own.




私はこれまで、自分に自信が持てなくて周りの目が怖くて、自分の意志で何かを決めたり人前で自分の考えを述べたりすることができませんでした。// Until now, i am not confident in my self and are scared of the eyes of my surrounding,  i couldn't decide something on my own or express my opinion in public.



「何でもいいよ。」// "Anything will be fine"



これが私の口癖でした。// That was my habit.


でも、自分自身を見つめ直し、いろんなパターンと将来を推察し、大好きなけやき坂のことをメンバーのことをたっくさん考えて、悩んで悩んで悩んで悩んで泣いて悩んで。// But, I reconsider myself, by inferring various patterns and the future, i thought a lot about Hiragana Keyaki that i love, i thought about the members, i worried worried worried worried cried and worried.





私は今、生まれて初めて、自分の人生を自分で決めました。// For the first time in my life, i made my own life decision.





この決断が正しかったのか、やってみなきゃわかりません。// I don't know if this is the correct decision, but i just have to try it out.
でも、正しかったのかどうかを自分の身をもって確かめることが出来るのは、紛れもなく私1人しかいません。// But, the only one who can ascertain whether i was right or not, is only me.





私にしかできないことが、目の前にあります。// The only thing that i can do, is right in front of me.




…いっちょ、やってみますか。/// ... Then, let's try it.



まずは、自分を信じることから始めようと思います。// First of all, i think i'll start by believing in my self,







私はこれからもずっとずっとひらがなけやき、ファンの皆さん、いつも支えて下さる全ての方のことが大好きだし、// From now on, i will continue to love Hiragana Keyaki, fans, and the many people who always supported me.

これからもずっとずっと皆さんに勇気や元気や笑顔を与えられる存在でいたいです。// From now on too, i would like to be someone who is able to give you courage, energy, and smile.


活動休止の期間に今まで以上に死ぬほど努力して人としても成長できるように頑張ります。// I'll do my best to grow more, i'll work harder than ever before.




一回り大きくなった私に会えるのを楽しみに待っていてください。// Please look forward to seeing myself becoming bigger.
身長も160センチくらいになってたらいいな。// It'd be great if my height grew too, to about 160cm.



これからも、けやき坂46の応援をよろしくお願いします。// From now on too, please continue to support Hiragana Keyakizaka46


影山優佳は、そんな子がいたな〜って頭の片隅にでも置かせていただけたら、嬉しいな(*´▽`*) // 'Kageyama Yuuka', i'd be happy if you can remember a person with that name in a small corner in your head.


それじゃ、また。// Well then, see ya

















いつもありがとう。// Thank you as always.
ありがとうじゃ表せきれないよ。// I don't think 'Thank you' is enough to express it.


see you ... soon.

影山優佳

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