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Hinatazaka, 338 (Nagahama Neru 26th March 2019 blog)

Translated with ariadne32391

-----

こんばんはー!// Good evening!


今日の東京は晴れでした!// Today it was sunny in Tokyo
春の天気だった!// It was a spring weather
ぽかぽかしてて気持ちまで穏やかになりました。🌸// It was nice and warm and it made me feel warm.


先日ね// Yesterday
あれ、ここ前によく行ってたな〜という場所に//  I happened to come across
偶然出くわしたのですが、// a place that I often go to before

東京にも// Even in Tokyo
懐かしいと感じる場所ができたことに気づいて// I noticed that there places that I feel nostalgic about
なんだか嬉しいような切ないような気持ちになりました。// Somehow it makes me happy and at the same time it makes me sad.


東京で生活してるんだなー。🤔// I’m really living in Tokyo



明日は// Tomorrow is
日向坂46のデビューシングル、// Hinatazaka46 debut single
「キュン」の発売日です。// 「Kyun」’s release day.



ちょっとだけ(いやとても長くなりそう)// Just a little (No, I think it will become quite long)
自分のことを書いてみたいな〜と思うので、// I think I want to write about myself
お時間ある時にお読みいただければ、と。😌// When you have time, please read it


私は2015年にひらがなけやきとして// In 2015, as Hiragana Keyaki,
アイドルになりました。// I became an Idol.


1人でのグループ、// It was a one-person group
私の加入と同時に新メンバー募集、// When I entered, they also looked for new members
欅坂のみんなには// I really really caused an inconvenience to
本当に本当に迷惑をかけてしまいました。// everyone in Keyakizaka

とても戸惑っただろうし// It was probably very perplexing
腑に落ちなかったと思うし// I think they could not understand it
その時のみんなの気持ちを考えると// When I think of everyone’s feelings
いたたまれなくなります。// it makes me want to run away

一緒に活動してくれて本当にありがとう。// Thank you very much for working together with me.


その後すぐ// Immediately after that
スタッフの皆さんの愛と// The love of all the staff with
メンバーみんなのひたむきさで// the warmth of the members
欅坂46は// Keyakizaka46
デビュー前から様々なチャンスを頂き、// was given a lot of different chances even before debut
猛スピードで走り出していきました。// and started running at an incredible speed.


間近で// Recently
その姿を見ることができたのは// Being able to see that appearance
とても貴重でありがたくて// It’s very valuable and I’m really grateful
ずっとずっと自分の糧になっている経験です。// It’s an experience that will always be my source of encouragement.


サイレントマジョリティーが// Silent Majority is
センター街で流れていたり、// flowing in the town center,
マルイに大きな看板が飾られていたり、// a big signboard was displayed in Marui

すごい世界に来てしまったんだなー、、// I’ve come to a great world
と呆然と眺めていたことを覚えています。// I remember staring at it, dumbfounded



その時の気持ちをよく聞かれていたのですが// I’m always asked about my feelings during that time
私はそこに自分がいないことに対して、// For me, regarding not being there,
1ミリも悔しい悲しいという感情がなくて。// there’s not even a millimeter of regret or sadness.

良いのか悪いのか分からないけれど、// I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
本当に1ミリも、というのがぴったりで、🤔// But really, 1 millimeter is exactly right



皆さん凄いな。という気持ちだけで// I only had a feeling of thinking everyone was amazing
目の前のことに精一杯でした。// They were doing their very best in front of my eyes


欅坂のメンバーは心から優しい子たちばかりで// Keyakizaka is full of members with kind hearts
特異な加入をしてしまったのに関わらず// Even though I joined in a peculiar way
隔てなく接してくれました。// without any division, they connected with me.

20人全員が優しいのです。// All of the 20 members are kind.
あったかくて素敵な子しかいないのよ、、、// There are only warm and wonderful persons...
こればっかりは本当に不思議で凄い。// It’s really strange and amazing how they could be full of it.

その後2ndシングルで// After that, in the 2nd single
みんなと一緒に歌えることになりました。// I was able to sing with everyone
嬉しかったな〜〜// I was really glad~

一緒に歌唱できることによって// I was able to sing with them.
野外フェスやイベントにも// In outdoor festivals and events as well
みんなと出演することができるようになりました。// I was able to perform with everyone.

最初の1年くらいは、// Around the first year
1曲目がサイレントマジョリティーで// almost everything started with
始まることがほとんどで、// the first single Silent Majority

overtureにのって// That moment I watch the backs of everyone going out
眩いステージに出ていくみんなの後ろ姿を//  into the blinding stage from the backstage,
舞台袖で見送っていた瞬間が// riding the overture,
映像として色濃く脳裏に焼きついています。// is strongly burned into my mind like a photo

初めてみんなと一緒に// The day that I first came out together
overtureから出ていけた日のことも// with everyone after overture
鮮明に覚えてる、、、!!// I vividly remember it!!


そして、// Also
その時期に待望の// During that period,
ひらがなけやきの1期生のみんなに出会いました。// I met with the awaited 1st generation members of Hiragana Keyaki


初めて会ったのは雑誌の撮影で、// The first time we met was at a magazine photoshoot
彩花ちゃんがひたすら泣いてた!笑// Ayaka chan was intently crying! lol

この間彩ちゃんと、// The other day, I was glad to have
その時の思い出話ができて嬉しかったな〜☺️// talked to Ayaka-chan about the memories of that time.

初めの頃は // In the early days,
レッスンに参加できることが極端に少なく、// It was very rare for me to be able to participate in the lessons,
ダンスも歌も苦手な自分に // I thought that everyone will be disappointed
みんなが失望してしまわないか、//with me who is bad at dancing and singing.

どんどんステップアップしていくみんなと、// The gap between my lack of ability and
実力が伴わない自分とのギャップが苦しくて。// everyone who is constantly stepping up pained me.

みんなより少し早く活動していたはずなのに //Despite working earlier than everyone
上手くできないのが情けなくて //. It’s so miserable that I cannot do it well
出来なきゃいけないのに、 // Even though I must be able to do it,
出来なきゃいけないのに、、! // Even though I must be able to do it…!!

と自分で自分に高く高く課してしまっていました。// And so I have raised the standards towards myself higher and higher


気持ちが変わったきっかけは // The one that changed my feelings
Zeppツアーでした。// was the Zepp Tour.


1公演目のZepp Tokyo、// The first performance in Zepp Tokyo
初めての単独ライブということで // would be our first independent live,
毎日リハーサルを重ねていました。 // everyday there were rehearsals.

ドラマ期間も重なり、// It overlapped with the production of the drama,
私は練習に1日も参加できず // and with me unable to participate even one day of rehearsal,
当日を迎えることになりました。//  the performance day arrived.

ひらがなけやきで欅坂の曲を披露すること、// To perform Keyakizaka songs as Hiragana Keyaki
役不足すぎる自分が真ん中に立っていることが // and to have myself who is lacking a lot stand in the middle
怖くてたまりませんでした。// made me really scared.

もちろん // Of course
その時の自分の全てを出したことは確かなのですが、// That time I gave it my all but,
あの日のライブは // I will always remember
やっぱり悔しくて不甲斐なくて // How that live that day
今でもずっと覚えています。// made me feel really disappointed.

前にも書いたかなーー🤔 // I think I wrote about it too before.



その後にツアーをまわれることになり、// After that we went around with the tour,
みんなとも距離が縮まっていきました。// and my distance with everyone grew shorter.


一緒に過ごす時間が増えたことで // Because the number of time we spend together increased
自分ができない部分を隠すのは難しく、// It was getting hard to hide what I lack

こりゃ、かっこいい先輩風でいるの無理だ!! // “Oh no, I can’t act like the cool senior!”
と諦めました。٩( 'ω' )و笑 // and so I gave up lol


みんなと一緒に頑張ろう。と、// I started to think “Let’s work hard with everyone”
頼ったりフォローしてもらったり // To rely on someone and to support someone else,
すごくかっこ悪いけど // It’s not something cool but
みんなにならそんなところも見せても大丈夫だ。// I think that it’s okay if I
と思えるようになりました。// show that side of me as well.


そこから一気に近くなれた気がして、// And since then it felt that we became closer
とても楽しかったです。// and it became really fun.


兼任というのは // Many things happened
色んなことがあったけど // during the concurrency,
自分を構成する一つの大きな要素でした。// But I think that it was one of the things that made me who I am.


そしてその後 // And then after that,
兼任解除となり漢字欅の専任となりました。// My concurrency got cancelled, and I become a full time Kanji Keyaki member.

自分を守ってくれた // I am truly grateful
スタッフの方には感謝してもしきれません。// to the staffs who have protected me.
欅坂のスタッフの方は // Keyakizaka’s staff are the people
1番に私たちの心と身体のことを考えてくれています。// who think about our mind and body the most.


色んな たらればの声を沢山頂くのですが、// I heard many “what if’s” from other people,
私は全てがこれで良かったと思っています。😌 // But I think that this is the best decision.




しかしその時はZeppツアーの最中でした。// But that time, we were in the middle of  Zepp Tour

応援してくださる皆さんにも // I was truly sorry that
メンバーのみんなにも // it became a disappointing news
すごく不誠実な結果になってしまって // to the fans who supported me
本当に申し訳なかったです。// and to the members.


みんなは一貫して // Everyone constantly treasures
ひらがなけやきを大切に想ってくれていました。// Hiragana Keyaki.



ちょっと長く書きすぎている気がする、、、// I feel like I have written a lot...
もうちょっと書く。🙂 // I’d like to add more.



2期生3期生も加入し // 2nd gen and 3rd gen are also joining in.
ひとつひとつの縁を大切に // While taking care of each relationship,
懸命に積み重ねていったみんなは // everyone gave their all,
あっという間に // and in a blink of an eye
多くの方に愛されるグループになりました。// they have become a group loved by many people.


そしていよいよ、// And then finally,
明日デビューします! // tomorrow they will have their debut!



心から嬉しいです。// I am truly happy.
デビュー本当におめでとうーーーー! // Congratulations on your debut!! Really!!

私がいうのは違うかもしれないけど // It may sound wrong coming from me but
ひらがなけやきを大切にしてくれて // Truly, truly thank you
守り続けてくれて // for cherishing and protecting
本当に本当にありがとう。 // Hiragana Keyaki.



先日の横アリでの // I went to watch the Debut Countdown
デビューカウントダウンライブに行かせて頂きました。// held in Yokohama Arena the other day.

ひらがなけやきのラストライブも兼ねていて、// It also doubles as Hiragana Keyaki’s last live,
過去の様々な映像が織り交ぜられていました。// it was interwoven with various images from the past.

そこには // And in
ひらがなけやきから永遠の白線まで // Hiragana Keyaki until Eien no Hakusen
自分がいたひらがなけやきが確かに存在していて // The me who was active as a Hiragana Keyaki member existed
自分のアイドルとしての姿があって。// The me who active as an Idol.

過ごしてきた時間を肯定して頂いたような // It was an easing live
なんだかスーッと心が軽くなるライブでした。// as if I have affirmed the time I have spent.


アイドルになって良かったな、と // Thanks to everyone
みんなのおかげで強く感じることができました。// I was able to strongly feel glad to be an Idol.


あの日に // I was truly happy
あんなに素敵で最高なライブを観れたことは // to be able to watch such a wonderful and great live performance
本当に幸せなことでした。// that day.


デビューシングルの「キュン」// I fell in love with the debut single “Kyun”
聴いた瞬間に恋に落ちました。// from the moment I heard it.
途中のささやきセリフも // Also the whispers put in the middle of the song
1人で勝手に照れちゃってそわそわしてました。🙄 // Made me blush and and excited.

収録曲の「耳に落ちる涙」もおすすめです。是非! // I also recommend the song “Mimi ni ochiru namida”. Please give it a listen!

欅坂46の黒い羊に収録されている // I also really like “Kimi ni hanashitai okitai koto”
君に話しておきたいこと もとてもとても好き!!! // that is a part of Keyakizaka46’s Kuroi Hitsuji!!

握手会で流れてるから // It is also played in the handshake venue
来てくれる皆さんの優しい言葉と相まって // and coupled with the warm words from everyone who have come,
何度も泣きそうになったー🤔 // have made me feel like crying many times over.



長々と書いてしまったのですが // It became very long,
とにかくとにかく // but in any case,
日向坂46デビューおめでとうーーー🎉🎉 // I hope I could convey
が伝わったらいいかな〜。// “Hinatazaka46 Congratulations on your debut!!”




最近はアニバーサリーライブの // Lately, we are doing
リハーサルをしております! // the rehearsal for Anniversary Live.


改めて欅坂46の楽曲が好きだな〜 // Once again I realize that I really like Keyakizaka46’s songs~
メンバーといると // When I am with members
くだらないことも沢山笑えるし楽しいな〜 // I can have fun talking about idle things and laugh a lot~

と日々幸せでございます! // I have a happy everyday life!


私の最後の日は確定していないのですが、// My last day has not been decided yet,
7月までは活動させていただきますので // But I will be active until July,
まだまだよろしくお願いします。☺️ // So I will still be in your care.



先日、// The other day
欅坂1期生2期生 // Keyakizaka’s 1st gen and 2nd gen
日向坂1期生2期生ひなのなのちゃん // as well as Hinatazaka’s 1st gen, 2nd gen, and Hinano-chan,
皆でご飯を食べる機会があったのですが、// Have the opporunity to go out for a meal together,
これからの未来にワクワクしました!! // It made me excited to think about the future!

みんなが仲良く交流していて、// Everyone is getting along well,
見てるだけでほっこりしたーー。// Just looking at it makes me feel relaxed.


もっと仲良くなりたいー!と思った夜でした。🌒 // It was the night where I thought that I want us to be better friends.


毎日色んなことがあるけれど、// Everyday there are a lot of things that happen

守ってくれて助けてくれた // But because there are members
メンバーがいるから // who protected me and helped me
自分が存在していることは揺るぎなくて、// I could affirm that I exist
一生、どんな時でもどんな場所でも // And I thought that anywhere and at any time in my life
かけつけたいなって思うのです。// I hope that they’ll come rushing to my side.

それくらい大切な存在に出会った! // “I have met such an important existence!”
1人でいるとしみじみ考えてしまうなあ。// So I thought about it when I’m by myself.

誰かにそんな感情を抱くのは初めてだなー。// It is the first time I have such feelings for someone.




日向坂のライブにて。// In Hinatazaka’s live.
芽実が手振ってるーーー!芽実チャーン! // Memi waved her hand---! Memi-chan~~!!




もしやブログ最長記録なのではなかろうか。😧笑 // I wonder if this is the longest blog ever written? lol
読みにくかったよね、、// It must be tough to read...

読んでくれてありがとうね。// Thank you for reading.
長濱ねる // Nagahama Neru

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